I am „she who is seeing in the dark“ ~ Life and shaman being from the most difficult life experiences ~ my potential!! – how I work and themes of my work

I look at “unconscious levels and dimensions of the psyche”
and help others in conversation with them that THEY can change their perspective on what has been experienced and thus find (can) self-knowledge, which helps them to understand symptoms and thereby overcome them!
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So I am a “seer” – I am “she who is seeing in the dark”
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I have accompanied several people dying (as well as animals, trees and landscapes), I have sung “their” songs that I have forgotten when I left space and the dying, because they were only THEIR songs!
During the dying accompaniment, visions came to me that I learned to interpret in the course of my life.
One time I was pressed by a close relative in a coma just before she left her physical body forever
(for this there is the term “death doula”)
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very serious life experiences have trained me to be a shaman
born in 1968, -i „survived“ severe “psychic” abuse (as well as other types of)
thousands of obstacles in my lifetime due to offices, institutions, doctors, but also people, situations, associations, trainers, employers and other backgrounds
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unrecognized Asperger autism till 2017 with HIGHLY increased perception
highly sensitive and highly sensitive perceiving
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severe pain disease whole body with extreme pain since 1994 (26 years), then with massive years of depression and severe migraine with extreme heat development in the head
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Throughout my whole life I have often been in danger (attacks, threats, deprivation of liberty, ill-treatment, violence, choked by assault, almost suffocated for several other reasons, etc. )
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I had to deal with all this alone and get along with it, considering that I had to deal with the massive pain and depression, so it was a very challenging situation! . this increased “risk of life” indicates that I am a shaman, even though I have been denied the participation and Togetherness in groups and community due to my almost lifelong being alone
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I have become “other” in this way and have gone “other” than the usual paths and areas of interest, whereby I have developed the ability to “see in the dark” as described at the beginning. .
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This “seeing in the dark” includes my interest in the causes how illness arises, how symptoms can be DEVELOPED and how the “disease” can be overcome without having to take pharmaceuticals.
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I found this “my way” to interpret and understand because I wanted to find the causes of the massive pain symptoms and it seemed completely wrong to me to “cover” the symptoms with medication without interest for the cause! (as suggested to me by school medicine)
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I repeatedly noticed that I was soo “other” in the world and stood ~ so to speak “on my head”~ that the medication that “helps” others put me in danger of life!
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that’s why I started (I had to start!) to find and look for my own ways – for I was and am indeed responsible to myself!
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So I learned the “language of my soul” and with this exploration I immersed more and more in the woods and nature, I learned from trees, animals and plants
(but not to consume psychoactive substances! that is always important to me to point out!)
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I “dived” deeply into the vibrations of nature, became more and more a PART of the forest.
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So it happened more often that I was not seen by people who met me in the woods. For example, I wore an orange t-shirt. But their animals, dogs and horses, greeted me and looked me straight in the eyes :)
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Once I was with my bike in the woods and stood on a little brook directly opposite a man who, however, probably couldn’t see me. Such experiences were interesting, but also difficult to understand what might be the reason for this.
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I have accompanied many people in their challenges with addiction and self-destruction.
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by listening undividedly to what they told about themselves and their life experiences, I have been able to help many and my presence opens up the process of releasing previously subconscious memories, so that symptoms decrease and pain disappear. People begin to speak without me “forcing” anything!
It’s my presence that makes this happen.
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I have accompanied many people with my INTERPRETATIONS – their symptoms, their experiences, one-time or repeated events to help them understand what such experiences want to tell them.
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I know that we are always surrounded by „signs“ that want to help us, for example to persevere, to have courage, to stay upright, to have strength, to blossom, to step out of the shadows… to show us how powerful we are, e. g. For example, the dandelion that makes its way through the asphalt ceiling!… car stuck in the field, fall on the stairs/from the ladder, woodpecker in the house wall, terrain undermined by raccoons, broken parts of the car, life stories, traumatic experiences, statements, encounters with plants, humans and animals, forest fire, symptoms, pain, stomach inflammation, behaviors, flowers in wall cracks, felled trees, repeated encounters with toxic/toxic People or toxic life situations…
and much more
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what animal messengers want to tell us,
what symptoms want to tell us (organ language, psychosomatic)
what experiences and situations want to tell us,
what conflicts want to tell us,
what world events want to tell us,
what triggers want to tell us,
what our life experiences want to tell us,
what scenes want to tell us that take place in our social environment,
what cards want to tell us
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I help people to understand their perspective on “disease” and life crises and to become stronger in it, so that “overcoming” is possible, even if one had previously thought that life was ended by the diagnosis/crisis or even “foreign-determined”!
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here I give suggestions from my own healing process and my insights that deal with the study of research of consciousness, brain research, world cultures, spirituality and shamanism of the world as well as insights, experiences that I have found on my own shamanic-energetic journeys through the “web of life”.
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this my deep emotional immersion in all these topics and my focus on “inner peace” and tranquility you can also look at my natural photographs. I photograph the SOUL of the plant, the tree, the flower!
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Due to my previous professional activity in the healthcare sector, I often had to do with imaging techniques of brain research, which opened up to me the large and interesting field of “brain research”
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So I learned little by little the neurological connections, how our brain works, and so on.
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I had already learned the physiological connections and dimensions of our body during my education in a “clinic for newborns and premature babies” and even then I had to deal with dying more often in this context, because many premature babies were born seriously ill and underweight at the time and it was daily dealing with the “death” and the relatives,
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but also deeply soul touching in dealing with severely ill children, who told me, they soon go to “God in Heaven” and know there are angels and they are already looking forward to being there and playing
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Furthermore, I was self-employed for several years with my office for medical and scientific word processing, layout, proofreading and image editing.
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I have dealt with many seriously ill people and have met them all with love. When I visited my 92 year old mother in the old people’s home every day and accompanied her when she was dying (2013), everyone else was happy to see me :) I also stood up for other residents there, always had a friendly conversation and brought drawing material with me.
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I already accompanied my father in 1990 when he was dying, when I was still unknown that there is such a thing as shamanism and also without knowing that I will be a shaman one day. Meanwhile shamanic visions appeared to me!
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Over the past almost four years, I have been in a massively challenging psychic and physical process, an “inverse Kundalini process”, which demanded everything from me as the shaman I am. ( repeatedly in danger to die)
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This process fell and continues to fall into the collective ascension of consciousness in which we are all here incl. Corona-V.
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I have always focused my attention on staying in the original trust and knowing that a healthier world is possible if we decide to take responsibility for us and it.
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this is about RESPONSIBILITY for ourselves as well as for our fellow human beings and for us to collectively create a healthier and worth living in society! it is about FREEDOM and PEACE, respect and value-appreciation for the DIVERSITY of the LIVING Creation!
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Through the many loneliness in my life I have learned to take good care of myself, because there were no others who would have done that.
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I MUST learn to love myself and in the truest sense “to find myself”, otherwise I would not have been able to overcome this “hard school of life”!
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this love for myself is “unconditional love” AND “universal love” at the same time!
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Unfortunately, I also met many who wanted to “protect” me and demanded, that I should think like them and do what they thought was right.
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But that is far from freedom, far from love, far from partnership!
this is captivity, control and abuse of power and I have made a decision against this and
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I have made it for MY SELF – and this is RIGHT!
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because a NO to circumstances that would only have perpetuated the lifetime of violence and would have been like brainwashing or mind control. a conditioning and behavioural adjustment works,
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this NO “for this” is a YES to me SELF! and right!
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Having “unconditional love” for an aggressor is life-destructive!
This is a very important finding, because there are still many people who think. to love the aggressor, who hurts one, who harms one or wants to own one,
this supposed to be “unconditional love” –  this is wrong!
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This is about finding the “unconditional love”
that YOU have to find/learn for YOURSELF
in order to FREE you from these abusive,
toxic circumstances, people, experiences!
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Unfortunately, I had to listen in the last few months from an alleged “girlfriend”
that I be a severely disturbed autistic who is narcissistic, selfish and selfish ~ All this is FALSE!
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I am a HUMAN and I have overcome all these life-inadmissible circumstances as I described them above.
I’m still doing it (through lifelong trauma work, lifelong shadow work, inner child work, by conscious making, by self-respect and self-love!)
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So far I was taken as clear as here in this post to speak about my life experiences, because this too was prevented by unsolved trauma!
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I KNOW about the STRENGTH of our CONSCIOUSness!
because even if we appear to be genetically pre-positioned to “diseases”,
we can overcome them by working with our consciousness!
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Here in this world, in the NOW, we can DECIDE different
as we did in all the traumatic life experiences!
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At the time, we were in “survival mode”, in “survival strategy”, and then, when the trauma happened, we didn’t have a “choice”!
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In our trauma the “wrong self” emerged, the ego. But this ego is what wants to control us and to hold us where we were afraid and shy, out of fear of the renewed pain. Fear from the “fear”
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So many have built up a masked life, where the true feelings lie behind a facade and are kept there, often unconsciously, because we all bear the unresolved emotional wounds of our ancestors – unconsciously!
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In my desire to understand what are the causes of trauma, addiction, symptoms and manifested diseases,
I have worked out all this understanding by MYSELF alone!
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Whoever calls me selfish and narcissistic,
has a completely FALSE “picture” of me!
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Throughout my life, I have worked for other people to help them understand their symptoms, to overcome their self-destruction and diseases, to understand what the causes of symptoms/diseases are, to understand why society is so “addictive” and was as it is and was (before Corona-V).
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For decades, I have helped many desperate people who live on the fringes of our society through conversation and other things.
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I wanted to understand my ancestors in order to understand why they behaved in what kind to me, how they behaved.
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Because with the understanding I was able to find “forgiveness” and to find forgiveness is important for me, so I am in my self-respect and self-care for myself, what causes healing! – and this is really important, especially with such life experiences as they lie behind me.
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to be interested in my healing is self-esteem and with this the healthy „ego“ and helps for self-empowerment and wholeness!
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I have worked to find out what we can do as shamans in our own ways and as people in the everyday state of consciousness, which we are too – but also for the people who fortunately were spared from it, to “must” become shamans, because this “hard becoming”, this “forge” (as a friend of mine named it)
demanded us massive services and endurance –
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so what we can do. . .
~ to change the world to the healthier,
~ to find more to live in ONENESS with Mother Earth and Nature
~ and to point to the power of our consciousness
~ as well as to the strength of our self
~ as well as to show our self-value!
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we are here and even if we have had such difficult life experiences as I have experienced, so each and every one of us has found our own creative ways of handling to process what we have experienced ourselves and to become who we are today! in respect and value-appreciation of ourselves and resulting in respect and value-appreciation for the entire living creation!
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Every one of us who is incarnated in this time is of importance!
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because everyone has made individual experiences and found individual insights from this!
This is also what various indigenous shamans say.
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I thank my physical body, my powerful brain, my strong soul and psyche, my capability of my brain, my ability  to remember everything I’ve ever read and experienced, and the almost lifelong unrecognized Asperger autism and my highly gifted language skills and the strong high sensitivity and high sensitivity
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as well as the serious diesease, which had a massive impact on me and caused me a great deal of pain, by which I have often “failed” in my life in our so-called “normal” world, but which has given me much free time, which in turn has helped me to be the shaman that I am :)
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I have very little money, (caused by the trauma I experienced and by the traumata of my ancestors), but over the decades, I’ve learned to deal with it and kept my consciousness-focus on abundance!
out of the present moment (28Aug. 2020) this all makes its fine sense :)
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And I thank my spiritual allies that I can do this and how I do/did it and that I look into the world like a CHILD, and that I was and am myself a grandmother, and that I learned to be „my you“ and partner to myself.
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My „being different“ has enabled me to live and be on „other“ levels of consciousness, to think „differently“, to live „differently“, to make other decisions, to find other values, to decide „differently“ in a world
where the so-called „normal“ played a too much important role!
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As an Asperger autist, I am far from what is known as „neuro-typical“! and that’s great and wonderful! :)
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because it enables me to work, to live, to BE in a „different“ way than is/was so-called „normal“ in this world
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– where „having“ and „masks“ were in the foreground
– but this „facade/mask of the world“,
this ILLUSION = „matrix“  already crumbles :)
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(„Matrix“ to be understood as a manifestation of all that we „believed“ as the world is out of the survival strategies of the „collectively unredeemed trauma“ and the personal traumatizations, out of the „wrong self“!)
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we are before the beginning of the NEW “Golden Age”!
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and to unusual animal friendships it has already been manifested for years! :)
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But I also notice how well-known people represent their now “awakened” views, even though they recently spoke and acted out of their “unresolved” trauma quite differently and felt paralyzed and trapped,
but now they argue LIVEly and maturely and the previously difficult coexistence opens up “suddenly”!
and we swing together :) ~ wonderful!
🍀😊
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warm greetings from Germany ~ tree Shaman ForestSoul 🌳🌱🌿💗
inner child, counseling, training the senses, live SLOWLY,
heart opening, highly sensitivity, be different
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